Effective support systems require two seemingly contradictory ingredients: a unified purpose and maximum diversity. The purpose acts as a filter — Joe doesn’t care if Elon Musk wants to join a leadership group unless he shares the purpose of using leadership as self-development. But within that shared purpose, you want diversity of stage (beginners and experts), mindset (emotional and intellectual processors), background, and lifestyle.
Diversity catches what you can’t see. A group of elite skydivers might develop extraordinary technical skill but have no capacity to process grief when friends die — and that unprocessed grief will create psychological blocks that undermine the very performance they’re optimizing for. Similarly, entrepreneurs supporting each other on tech and leadership but not on anxiety are leaving the biggest productivity drain unaddressed.
Most people have implicit support systems but lack a shared sense of purpose. Making the purpose conscious and explicit — and using it as a filter for who enters — transforms a social circle into a genuine support structure. Multiple support groups for different purposes (couples, parenting, business, men’s/women’s group) create well-rounded support.
“If you look at the great support networks… it is a community of people being accountable to themselves but being supportive of one another.”
Related Concepts
- Community is more important than the teacher
- Community amplifies transformation
- Deep community dissolves identity