The belief “I am responsible for the whole kit and caboodle of my life” sounds empowering but can become deeply disempowering. Joe traces the logic: You’re responsible for not making money → because you didn’t try hard enough → because you only tried four approaches → because of time and bandwidth → because of how you manage your calendar → because of your priorities → because you choose them. But can you choose your next thought? No. The entire chain of responsibility collapses because it rests on thoughts you can’t control.
“I get to choose” is empowering in one context. “I chose this” is crushing in another. The same concept of agency becomes a weapon of self-blame. And when you try to drop the weight of total responsibility, the mind immediately says “but then I’ll do nothing”—even though at age seven, play and curiosity drove action without any sense of responsibility.
“You can’t even choose what thought to have next. So your whole prioritization scheme… all comes from a thought that you can’t control.”
When Bobby imagines being responsible for nothing—and no one else being responsible either—he experiences bliss. Not because responsibility is bad, but because the version he carries is crushing rather than freeing.