A natural passion shows up and we dive in with genuine excitement. But somewhere along the way, the passion transforms into stress and obligation. This happens because the act of following our passion triggers old shame — of disappointing others, abandoning commitments, being selfish — and that shame creates anxiety that gets transferred both to the people around us (making us want to avoid them) and to our work (making us hyper-focused and stressed).
The passion itself isn’t the problem. The problem is that pursuing passion activates a childhood wound — the feeling of diverging from what others expect or need. As that anxiety builds, the rabbit hole stops being joyful and starts being compulsive. We’re no longer exploring; we’re hiding from the shame of not being where others expect us to be.
“Somewhere down the rabbit hole it moves from passion to stress, it moves from passion to obligation, and then in that you start becoming so single-minded that you forget to live a life that’s enjoyable.”
Related Concepts
- Obligation kills love
- Obligation cuts off the experience of love in the moment
- Shame fuels the habit that creates more shame
- Shame becomes addictive and creates empty fulfillment