Joe describes one of the most profoundly freeing capacities a person can develop: the ability to hold two opposing ideas at the same time and see the truth in both of them. This isn’t intellectual fence-sitting — it’s a lived experience that requires letting go of the need to be right.
In the coaching session, a man defending capitalism is asked to open his heart to the idea that capitalism is imperfect. This isn’t about changing his position — it’s about dissolving the rigidity that requires him to defend against any opposing viewpoint. When he can hold both “capitalism creates value” and “capitalism creates inequality” without his heart hardening, the hypervigilance drops and he lands in his body.
“Being able to hold two opposing ideas at the same time and see the truth in both of them — there’s a tremendous amount of freedom in that.”
This is scary for three reasons: you have to feel something you don’t want to feel, you have to let go of some of your personality (which is built on distinctions), and you don’t get to be right anymore. In our culture, being right is tied to being loved and accepted, so letting go of rightness can feel like a loss of love.
The practical implication: let your mind do all the processing — the spreadsheets, pros and cons, intellectual debate — and then take a moment to feel what feels right. There’s only one thing that’s going to feel right, and it’s a gut response, not an intellectual conclusion.
Related Concepts
- Every ‘no’ is new information that creates clarity
- Identity creates rigidity and limitation
- Any self-definition limits you
- Opening your heart to what you resist dissolves rigidity