Joe draws a sharp distinction between embracing intensity and creating it. Embracing intensity assumes there is never a moment when there isn’t some intensity to embrace — there’s nothing to manufacture. It’s the practice of allowing whatever emotional experience is present rather than bracing against it. Creating intensity, by contrast, involves deliberately engineering challenging situations, which carries a built-in bracing quality: “okay, here it comes, ready for this.”
The simple diagnostic question is: “Am I bracing or embracing?” This felt-sense check reveals how much you’re allowing your experience versus resisting it. Joe notes that while creating intensity can be a useful tool, it’s not a reliable principle for transformation. Only embracing intensity — the willingness to feel whatever is already here — serves as a consistent path to change.
“Embracing intensity assumes that there is never a moment when there isn’t some intensity to embrace — there’s really nothing to create in the situation.”
Importantly, Joe uses the word “intensity” rather than “difficulty” because once people move through embracing anger, sadness, and fear, they often find it even more challenging to embrace peace and joy. The intensity isn’t about hardship — it’s about the slight discomfort of being asked to expand.
Related Concepts
- Welcoming not just accepting emotions
- Avoidance is the stuckness, not the feeling
- The discomfort is the resistance, not the emotion itself
- Embracing intensity is the leading indicator of transformation
- Embracing intensity in business reveals what you’re avoiding