After watching “The Vow” documentary about NXIVM, Joe began seeing cult-like dynamics everywhere — in companies, political groups, sports fandom, religions, and technology culture. His initial reaction was despair: “No matter what you do, humans will make it a cult. And by humans I mean me.”
The insight is that cult dynamics aren’t a binary — cult or not-cult — but a spectrum of behaviors all groups exhibit to some degree: in-group/out-group boundaries, hierarchy formation, desire for clear rules, and the tendency to surrender individual needs for group cohesion. As Joe notes, “everybody is in a cult — the cult of materialism, the cult of technology” — and anyone who steps outside mainstream assumptions gets labeled a cult by those inside them.
What distinguishes destructive cults from healthy groups isn’t the absence of these tendencies but the presence of awareness about them. Joe researched 25 characteristics of high-control groups and found clear distinctions. The key factors include whether dissent is welcomed, whether leaving is easy, and whether individual autonomy is supported rather than suppressed.
Related Concepts
- Narcissism is a spectrum we are all on
- Us versus them signals fear-based control
- Inner critic uses same cult dynamics
- Each person is a ‘cult of one’ with internal belief structures they can’t fully see
- Ceding authority to a group feels like belonging and safety