When you try to pull your pinkies apart without actually doing it, you feel a specific tension — efforting without action. The opposite of that feeling is allowing: a deep relaxation where the whole system settles into receiving and listening. Joe describes this as a superpower that society almost never considers.
Most people approach challenges by asking “What do I have to do?” But the answer is often the opposite — the undoing, the allowing, the receiving. This applies across domains: listening, resilience, pleasure, peace, authenticity, and joy all prosper through allowing rather than effort. The Taoist tradition calls this “the way” — the butcher whose knife never needs sharpening because it finds the natural space between bone and meat.
“The whole system relaxes and you could call it maybe allowing or receiving or listening — you’re in a far more flow state.”
The critical distinction: allowing is not passivity or avoidance. It’s an active receptivity, like being a channel. And it’s not that trying is always wrong — there’s a time for will and effort. The problem is that most people can’t see the option of not trying, so they default to efforting even when receiving would be far more effective.
Related Concepts
- Letting go is non-management
- Enjoyment is more efficient than pushing through
- Flow state is embodiment applied to life
- Pushing creates the opposite of flow