Summary
Joe presents three techniques for leading without managing, plus the underlying mindset. First, say what you want cleanly—leaders often don’t state their wants out of guilt, fear of selfishness, or rebellion against authority, but the leader’s wants are the most aligned with the organization’s needs, and people feel safe when they know what’s wanted. Second, speak to the problem without solving it—name what doesn’t feel right and let the team create the solution, because solutions people create are solutions they’re aligned to execute. Third, only work with great people—anyone not performing doesn’t enjoy it either, so it’s about finding the right match.
The underlying mindset: keep the perspective on the team, not on yourself. You say what you want because that’s what the team needs. You hire great people because that’s how the team thrives. You speak to problems without solving them because that’s how you empower the team.
Key Concepts
- Leaders must say what they want cleanly
- Name the problem without solving it
- Only work with great people
Key Quotes
“Your wants, your specific wants, are the best aligned wants to the wants of the organization.”
“If you move to solve the problem then what you’re doing is you’re telling everybody that they can’t solve the problem, that they’re not capable, that you’re necessary.”
“Think about the moment that you are happiest working in a team—it’s probably the most functional team that you were ever a part of.”
“When you care for the team, they care for you.”
Transcript
In this video we’re going to talk about how to lead without managing. My name is Joe Hudson. I’m a former venture capitalist and I’m now an executive coach to some of the most notable names in Silicon Valley. There’s lots of ways that you can lead without any management whatsoever and we’re going to talk a little bit at the end of the video about the mindset that enables that but before we go there let’s just talk about three techniques that are really implementable that you can use right away. The first is to say what you want and say it cleanly. So what you see is that people who are leading organizations often times don’t say what they want for a number of reasons such as they feel selfish or because they think that people will be upset or because they were a rebel when they were young and they don’t think anybody wants to be told what to do and so all of that stuff gets in the way of them asking for what they want. The interesting thing about being a leader of an organization is that your wants your specific wants not everybody else’s are the best aligned wants to the wants of the organization. It doesn’t mean that everybody else’s wants aren’t important but your wants are the most important wants because they are the only ones that see the entire organization. The other reason that telling people what you want makes it so that you don’t have to manage things is because they feel safe. If you’re leading an organization and people don’t know what you want then they feel things like oh my gosh who’s leading the organization or they feel things like I don’t know if I’m doing a good job or they don’t know if they’re in alignment or not in alignment and so without cleanly saying what you want it’s very hard for anybody to feel like they know what they’re doing or that they’re doing the right thing. So now I keep on using this word cleanly—like what do you mean cleanly? Ask for what you want. If you ask for what you want in a way that you’re scared that you’re going to be attacked often times you’re going to say it in a very hard way and the more hard you are in the way that you ask for what you want the less likely somebody’s going to be able to give it to you or want to give it to you. Also if you ask for it like oh my gosh you’re never going to want to do this for me even the hand motion of oh you’re never going to want to do this is a no. It’s like don’t give me what you want. So asking for what you want is just a very clean process. They have the choice to say yes or no and when you start saying this is what you want you don’t have to manage people. Everybody and I mean everybody wants to be a part of a working team a functional team. Nobody’s like hey is your team dysfunctional sign me up hire me that’s what I want. Nobody says that. And so knowing what you want helps them be in a functional team. So one of the executives I was working with got really good at asking for what she wanted. Anytime she felt any discomfort she said oh this is what I want. She was also exceptionally good at being supportive of other people. She was constantly making sure that the people that she had working with her had the support they needed to do a great job. And as her company was growing they had a cash shortage. They didn’t have enough money to pay everybody and everybody stuck around and worked without pay for a little while. They had so much loyalty to this leader. So think about it like this—if people are willing to work without pay how much do you really need to manage them? So let’s get into the second thing. Speaking to the problem as soon as you can without solving it is a great way to lead without managing. I can’t tell you how many leaders I have worked with where we’ve dug in and really found out that one of the things that drives them is that they need to be valuable. Even the Taoists 2,000 years ago talked about leaders who nobody knew was there and how they were the best leaders and basically what they’re saying is that your ego is not in the game. Not the ego of it has to be my way. Not the ego of oh I’m necessary. And the way to do that is if there’s something that doesn’t feel right you immediately bring it up as quickly as you can. Oh that doesn’t feel right. You don’t have to do anything else. You think you do. You think you have to solve a problem but you don’t. And then somebody eventually is going to say yeah it doesn’t feel right to me either or they’re going to say oh what doesn’t feel right about it and a discussion is going to ensue. If you move to solve the problem then what you’re doing is you’re telling everybody that they can’t solve the problem that they’re not capable that you’re necessary. And maybe you need to say oh this is the criteria of the solution this is how we know we have a good solution so you make sure that your standards are kept but you don’t actually ever have to solve the problem. In fact it’s the solutions that people come up with that they’re most likely to be aligned around that they’re most likely to put energy into that they’re going to feel inspired to execute on. And this works in companies and it also works with kids. So with my children for instance whenever we have a problem like I notice that I’m nagging I’m like hmm that doesn’t feel right and so I’ll say to my kids hey I’m nagging and that feels like crap I don’t want to nag and they’ll be like yeah I don’t want you to nag either. Okay cool how do we make sure that the house gets cleaned without me nagging and then they come up with a solution that works for them. That’s easy for me because they know I don’t want to nag they know it doesn’t feel good we can all acknowledge the thing that doesn’t feel good and then I’m empowering my children to make the world that they want to make and it’s just as easy as that. And if I can do that with teenagers surely you can do it with people who you’ve employed or people that you work with. And if you can’t then let’s talk about number three because number three is only work with great people. So here’s the thing about everybody. We all want to work on great teams. If you think about the moment that you are happiest working in a team it’s probably the most functional team that you were ever a part of whether it was a sports team or whether it was something that you were doing for your work. But working in teams if you want to work in teams you want to work in functional teams. You want to win. You want to feel like you’re doing important stuff. You want to feel a sense of purpose. You want to feel that sense of cohesion that you have with a team. Anybody who’s really good is going to want to work with those teams. So some people have a high functioning team that looks like X and some people have a high functioning team that looks like Y. Your high functioning team is going to look the way that only your team can look and so there are going to be great people that maybe can’t fit into your team that can fit into other teams. So it’s not ever a value judgment of you’re good or you’re bad. It’s not you against the employee or you against a team member. It’s is it a match or is it not a match and when you find that match you know it and you know it quickly. But here’s the deal—anybody who’s working with you who is not performing like that it doesn’t feel good to them either. They don’t want that. Nobody wants to be the person who is like I am the person that nobody can rely on. I’m the person that everybody doesn’t like on the team. Nobody wants that. Usually you can find a solution whether it’s a different place on the team or helping them get to a new team or whatever it is that you want to do. But at the end of the day that’s not your job. Your job is to take care of the team. It’s not to care for the individual. Everybody else is caring for individuals. Your job—care for the team. And the best way to do that is make sure that all of your teammates have great people to work with. So now that we’ve gone over the three things that can help you lead without managing let’s take a look at the perspective that you hold that makes all of that far more easy to do. It’s not about keeping the perspective on you. It’s about keeping the perspective on the team. So you say what you want because that’s what the team needs. You hire great people because that’s what the team wants. That’s how the team thrives. And you’re speaking to the problem without solving it because that’s how you empower the team. And when you have that attitude people care for you. That’s how it works. When you are cared for you care for others more easily. When you care for the team they care for you. They care for the team far more easily.