Summary
In this short clip from his appearance at Ultraspeaking, Joe Hudson names a contradiction that keeps people from being themselves across different situations. From an evolutionary standpoint we are wired to fit in—to be normal—and yet we also crave to be extraordinary. Joe finds it fascinating that people striving to stand out never seem to connect that doing so would make them exactly not ordinary, and therefore would stop them from fitting in.
He observes that these two competing pulls generate a fierce amount of internal friction and produce action that is never quite aligned. People want to go somewhere but never arrive, because two opposing wants are quietly canceling each other out.
Key Concepts
Key Quotes
“We have both a desire to be normal, to fit in, which is not extraordinary, and then we have the desire to be extraordinary.”
“Anybody who’s striving for that extraordinariness never puts it together that that would make them stand out, it would make them exactly not ordinary and not fit in.”
“I see these two movements in people all the time create a fierce amount of friction in their system and a whole bunch of action that is not completely aligned.”
“They want to go somewhere but they don’t ever get there because they have these two competing wants.”
Transcript
What makes it that people have a hard time being themselves in different situations? From an evolutionary standpoint we want to fit in. One of the things that I find most fascinating about humanity in general is we have both a desire to be normal, to fit in, right, which is not extraordinary, and then we have the desire to be extraordinary, right? Like everybody’s like, “Oh, I want to be rich” — that’s extraordinary. And yet at the same time we want to fit in. But anybody who’s striving for that extraordinariness never puts it together that that would make them stand out, it would make them exactly not ordinary and not fit in. And I see these two movements in people all the time create like a fierce amount of friction in their system, and a whole bunch of action that is not completely aligned. And so they want to go somewhere but they don’t ever get there because they have these two competing wants.