Summary
In this coaching session from a public Q&A, Joe works with someone who has a persistent inner voice telling them they’re being fake around everyone. The person starts by saying they don’t think this can be solved — and Joe points out that the voice saying “this can’t be fixed” is 90% active in that very moment. Rather than trying to fix the voice, Joe asks: what if it’s right, but it’s not bad?
This reframe produces an immediate shift. The voice isn’t a problem — it’s intuition, the veil dropping, an accurate perception that the persona isn’t the real self. The person discovers that when they stop resisting the voice and thank it instead, they feel really good. The fear that arises is about relating to others — they worry they’ll be slower, more scrambled, unable to keep up in conversation. Joe normalizes this: some people can’t speak from their authentic place for a week after finding it. The key insight is that resistance to the voice is what gives it power. Not resisting — just receiving — is the path, and the fear of not being able to relate to people is actually a sign that something big is shifting.
Key Concepts
- The voice of fakeness is intuition, not pathology
- Resistance gives the inner critic its power
- Fear of losing relatability signals transformation
Key Quotes
“What if we assume it’s right? What if we assume it’s right but it’s not bad?”
“The resistance to it is the thing that gives its energy.”
“One of the marks of big movements in ourselves is that we get scared that we won’t be able to relate to other people. In my journey now every time that thought comes up I’m like, ooh it’s going to get good.”
“I’ve seen people when they finally get in touch with it they can’t speak from it for like a week but they know it’s there and then they slowly learn to speak from it.”
Transcript
this is so weird I like I know people always talked about like having like all your energy in your chest or your head but it literally just feels like there’s something here and it feels like going up yeah yeah in this coaching session that happened during one of our public q&as I’m working with somebody who’s wrestling with their authenticity how to be authentic and how to overcome that fear of what will happen if they are authentic it was a great session it was fun for me to do and I know you’ll get get a 10 out of it all right enjoy um I thought they bring bring the hardest problem to you the one that I don’t really expect can be solved um okay this this voice I’ve had in my head that feels that makes me feel like I’m being fake around basically everyone I know yeah um and I’ve had that voice for a really long time and I don’t really like it being there and doesn’t really help me cool so what makes you start off the conv with the fact that you don’t think it can be changed um because my continual experience is that people try to like hear something I’m going through and try to fix it and I feel like pressure to like demonstrate I’m being fixed really quickly and I don’t actually feel with or fixed or anything cool I have absolutely no interest in fixing you it it assumes you’re broken the voice that feels like it’s fake the part of you that feels like the whole thing is like this fake thing how how much like what percentage of that voice was active when you started with I don’t think this can be fixed like out of like like 90% gotcha awesome so what if we assume it’s right what if we assum and it’s right but it’s not bad oh man that felt like the same way it feels like when like my own intuition is speaking to me yeah yeah I mean what what do you when the Buddhists talk about the veil dropping what do you think they’re talking about dropping if it’s not that I’m having a lot of weird bodies ations great enjoy them um I think I still feel caught between like when I feel that thing I don’t I think I feel just so sad and I don’t really know what to do in those moments like it almost feels like the honoring thing to do would be to actually just like maybe even pause the conversation and go away and just be with myself which I guess already what what I I don’t see you not being with yourself right now what makes you need to go away to be with yourself because it doesn’t feel like I can be with that voice and the person in front of me at the same time how is it happening now because I’m not trying to do any work to like manage this or like keep this yeah yeah that’s right the resistance to it is the thing that gives its energy so they just don’t manage other that that would be like just receive it’s a doing that’s an undoing so it’s a little it gets a little bit weird but all you have to do is just not resist it if the thing is a good thing if it’s like your intuition speaking if it is you seen through the veil what makes you resist it like right now what if you were just like thank you it I feels like I don’t know for sure if I’ll go through my entire day today meeting anyone who I’ll feel connected with if I just receive wait receive if I say again I don’t know that I’ll like meet anyone who will feel compatible with to just have a conversation from the place that I’m not trying to manage well then that will be great news then you then you’ll find new people but I’m I’m talking about like right now what is it just like to thank the the voice that’s like this is all fake it feels really fucking good yeah yeah so you you think people will avoid you because you’re feeling really good you think people don’t want to connect with someone who’s really fucking feeling good I don’t know dude my my head feels scrambled every time I connect with that voice my head feels scrambled and I just it’s hard to keep things straight or what’s going on and I feel slower and I feel like I might like like have a second to delay between what the person said and what I’m saying I don’t know it’s just it’s hard yes all that shit will happen until you stop trying to listen to the until you’re just listening here it reminds me of the kids I work with and they like sometimes take like three seconds to respond yeah I’ve seen people when they finally get in touch with it they can’t speak from it for like a week but they know it’s there and then they slowly learn to speak from it you’re doing it within seconds this is so weird I like I know people always talked about like having like oh your energy in your chest or your head but it literally just feels like there’s something here and it feels like going up yeah yeah when on the first week of Master Class we do an exercise where you speak from here where you speak from here and you speak from your gut for this exact reason even now with you Joe there’s like like a nice feeling being here and there’s like a little thing that’s checking wait should we be like saying something right now or yeah so how do you turn towards that thing and thank it oh thanks just want to go back to like primal again myself or like no one hold it against me for like taking 10 seconds to respond and like relearn everything from scratch fuck them fuck them if they hold it against you one of the marks of big movements in our ourselves is that we get scared that we won’t be able to relate to other people in my journey now every time that thought comes up I’m like oo it’s going to get good yeah I noticed I’m not even like wanting to like really look at you and it’s like I it actually doesn’t feel bad to do that with you what a pleasure thank you very much