Summary
In this live coaching session, a man shares that after a painful breakup that triggered a deep depression, he lost trust in his own voice and intuition. He fears that following his instincts again will lead him back to the same dark place.
Joe helps him see a paradox: the man wouldn’t trade the depression for anything—it was a gift that taught him about himself. Yet he’s terrified of it returning. Joe points out that resisting an emotion is exactly what invites it back. The breakthrough comes when the man tries saying “I can’t wait to be depressed again”—and laughs, feeling the resistance dissolve.
Key Concepts
Key Quotes
“The more that you don’t want it to happen again, the more likely it is to happen again.”
“So what is it like to say ‘I can’t wait to be depressed again’? Look at that smile.”
“That depression was a gift for you. I can see it. What would make you reject the gift again?”
“How do you make sense of the thing that you went to this place, it was dark, it was horrible, but man you would not give it away.”
Transcript
so what is it like to say I can’t wait to be depressed again look at that smile in this coaching session we touch on a theme that affects so many people it’s where you’re resisting an emotions so much that what you’re actually doing is inviting it into your life we filmed this session during a live Q&A where people from the public can raise their hand and be coached by me and if you pay attention to it I’m sure you’re going to get a ton out of it so I I wonder how can I trust on my voice and on my word again how do you trust your voice and your work again worth worth yes oh how did you do it just now cuz I feel it’s a safer space uh what is it 200 strangers on the internet being recorded how is this same um I think all the strangers uh do not know all of my history yeah but it’s going to be on the internet someone’s going to see it yeah what’s what you trust yourself enough to raise your hand be filmed in front of all these people what I don’t what’s the trust you want in yourself that’s beyond that it’s to be able to communicate with my friends and my family again sorry about that say say again you want to communicate with your friends and your family again in the way that I used to how did you used to do it uh I was more more free I spe my mind and I told the things that I wanted to say and yes and what happened that made you stop uh there was kind of some decisions that I took that made me go through some kind of hard paths and made me unrust of my world what was it tell me what the path was what what H what’s the actual thing that happened that made you not trust your worth anymore yeah um it was uh when I asked my ex-girlfriend to breakout break up and then I trying to go back with her you tried to did you succeed in going back with her no aha so you broke up and then you wanted to get her back and she said no and so you lost trust in yourself yeah what what made made that something worth losing your trust in yourself did you become depressed or what like what happened that yeah I I think my permer depression exploded at that moment I see how’s the depression now I think it’s cured I I feel cool okay and the fear is that if you follow that intuition again it’ll lead you back into depression yeah is that is that the fear not to if I feel my intuition I’ll go back to make the same mistakes again great I love it so I have a button right here I can push it and then you were never depressed you want me to push the button you want me to take away the depression that you felt that I felt felt in the past no so your intuition was right right yeah that that Depression was a gift for you I can see it what would make you reject the gift again I think that’s the gift if that’s a gift that wants to be given to you again what would make you reject it in advance don’t go through the same experiences and through the same pain but you don’t want me to take it away from you no how do you make sense of that how do you make sense of the thing that you went to this place it was dark it was horrible but man you would not give it away you would not trade it it was a huge gift for you m it taught you things about yourself you can probably even feel like a little Melancholy like there’s like a little bit of like oh there was something sweet in it yeah I see the smile right and but I will never do that again how do you make sense of that all this connection to your body that you feel that probably also was one of the gifts of your depression yeah and here’s the weird part the more that you don’t want it to happen again the more likely it is to happen again so what is it like to say I can’t wait to be depressed again look at that smile just say it out try it oh yeah so yeah let’s do the experiment I can’t wait to be depressed again I can’t wait to be depressed again what a pleasure